I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship. What it means, what are the responsibilities that go with it, and what are the benefits.

And I have come to observe that if you are lucky enough, you have a long time, female BFF, (Best Friend Forever, for those of you who don’t know the lingo).

Is there  a stronger bond than two women who have been together through thick and thin for more decades then we’d like to admit?

The kind of bond that pledges “I’ve got your back, no matter what?”

The benefits of  friendship are too numerous to list. Especially girlfriend friendship….that fierce, loyal “I don’t care what you did, we’ll get through it” kind of bond.

Studies have shown that women who have this kind of friendship:

  • Are less susceptible to colds than those who are socially isolated.
  • Sleep better.  A University of Chicago study suggests the lonelier a women is, the more likely she is to toss and turn.
  • Are less likely to have cognitive decline as they age.
  • Are 50% more likely to live longer than those women with weaker social connections, a 2010 analysis found.

Best Girlfriends also know the following:

  • If she wants to bitch about her boyfriend or husband, you have to join in, too.  If she changes her mind the next day, so do you.
  • Whatever the other does, you DO NOT judge.
  • You have a special we-are-leaving-right-now look or code word.
  • You share the same thoughts you would never tell anyone else.
  • You know that sometimes there are problems that can only be solved by heavy drinking
  • You will defend your friend to death, without even knowing what she has done.

Here are some of my favorite models of that unbreakable female bond ….


Lucy and Ethel were the quintessential “partners in crime”. They knew each other in a way that Ricky and Fred never could. Would their adventures  have been half as much fun flown solo?  Lucy needed Ethel to zig when she zagged, and together they schemed and soared, tango’d and stomped, laughed and cried through their otherwise boring 50’s housewife days. No matter how crazy a plan Lucy hatched, Ethel was there to catch her when she fell. She had her back, and then some!

Who could forget Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey’s characters in Beaches? The song “Wind Beneath My Wings” was written for the movie to illuminate the power of the enduring love between two childhood friends as their time grew short….I still cry!



Thelma and Louise would die for one another…and did!

FullSizeRender 101

And one wonders where Oprah, one of the richest, most successful women on the planet, would be without her infamous better half…not a lot of people know who Steadman is, but the world knows Oprah’s BFF, GAIL.
FullSizeRender 100

One other favorite example of  loyal lady friends were the gals from Sex And The City. Those women were amazing life rafts for one another, navigating the hard, complicated New York landscape. Through thick and thin, break ups and breakdowns, they were but a phone call away…image

and who could forget that epic scene where Charlotte finally confronts Big for leaving Carrie at the altar, breaking her heart one too many times….my TV almost melted from the pent-up rage she released upon him for hurting her best girl….so ferocious it caused her water to break!!

Ladies, who of us hasn’t felt that when one of our girls has been hurt????


I am privileged enough to bear witness to another Extraordinary  Friendship…

FullSizeRender 102

These two fabulous women exemplify all that is good about female friendships…

Mary K and Sue, (the original Thelma and Louise,) met in college at a tailgate party in 1992.  Like mac was destined for cheese, these two hit it off instantly in a way that only future BFF’s do.  Mary K’s mom had just passed from cancer, and there was Sue, ready to take on the role of VIP in MK’s life, even if she didn’t know it at the time.

After college, they became bar hopping buddies and serious career gals, who leaned on each other for support and comic relief.

Eventually MK started inviting Sue to travel with her on business when she went to exotic destinations like Denver, Phoenix and Ft.Lauderdale.  This unleashed a love of travel in Sue, and before you know it, she was the one planning their trips…Ireland, Aruba, the Mediterranean, Florida, California, and onward. These gals caused a lot of global mischief in their time, but always left the place a bit happier, I’m sure.

Sue describes their relationship so beautifully..”No matter where we go, whether hanging at the “99” or hitting the dance clubs, we always have a great time.  We laugh a lot when we are together.  We have so many similar passions; our families, our jobs, travel, shopping, men, our friends….we just click.  We always say that if one of us was a guy, we would marry them.  We are also each others  therapist.  No outside therapists needed by us, as we have each other to vent to.  That has been very important, especially during the past 2 1/2 years while MK was caring for her ailing father, and will continue to be as she adjusts to a different life without him”. (The wonderful Mr. Milley died last week.)  “We certainly have each others backs….no matter what.”

How awesome that these ladies, in their fifties, are the keepers of each other’s history? How fun it is for me to follow their adventures??

If you are lucky enough to have a BFF, call them tonight…drunk dial them if necessary, (it probably won’t be the first time,) and tell them how much you love them!

Girlfriends everywhere, put on your crowns and have a lovely weekend ~



  1. Thanks Kathy for including MK and I in your piece on girlfriends. Girlfriends are the best and I am so lucky to have so many great ones including my BFF MK!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: