Mother’s Day…So many images come to my mind when I think of the word “mother”.

There’s the obvious mom, yours, and there are the ones not so obvious.

There’s the aunt who was like a mom, always magically appearing when you needed her most and there’s the friend who came over and gave you a heating pad when you were having bad menstrual cramps (or in later years, had a level 3 hangover,) because your own mom was busy elsewhere..your friend just knew exactly what you needed and provided it.

There was the teacher in third grade who could see that you were hurting because you were new to the school and not making friends.  She let you sit with her during indoor recess, and included the “cool girls” at her desk as well. Discussions on the merits of “Beatles” vs. “Monkees” ensued, and  by the time recess was over, you were a cool girl, too.

There’s the sister who called you the day your first-born was leaving for college, because she’d been there, and knew you couldn’t breathe from sorrow.

That’s mothering..

There are all different kinds of moms…crack addict moms, and gluten-free, free range,organic only, natural birth with a doula moms.

There are the absentee moms that say “life is a bitch, and if you don’t toughen up, you will get eaten alive,” and there are the moms that would kick down the doors of Hell for you.

What kind of mom did you have?

and what kind of mom were you?

I find there is a correlation between the two.

If your mom was a “June Cleaver”, you probably tended to be a “Murphy Brown”.

If your mom was a “Roseanne”, you were more likely to be an  “Abilene,”(the housekeeper/nanny from the movie “The Help”..)

What little girl would not want to be on her lap, hearing her coo “you is smart, you is kind, you is important.”



I had a hard-working, career pediatric nurse for a mom.  I was the only girl in my class who had a professional mom in the 60’s.  I was SO proud of her.  But I missed her, and often, while she was healing the sick children in the city. She wasn’t home for us much, even when she was.

I overcompensated by being the breastfeed til they were two, stay at home, homeschooling, Boy Scout, school board and every-sport-known-to-man volunteer mom.

the one who would kick down those Hell doors….

After a lot of trial and error, I turned out OK…

and while they are still works in progress, so will my boys.

Somewhere between my mom and me, there exists the perfect mom. A mom who has the perfect balance of give and take, of attention and independence, of   “let them grow up” and “don’t ever let them go”…..

My mom and I are polar opposites, but one thing we have in common…we do the best we can, and really….that’s all you can do.

Happy Mothers day to all the moms, aunties,teachers, sisters,  friends and all others who mother us well, and make our lives worth living.








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